Im Scared I'm Mad
Is that question contradictory? To be afraid of being mad? If I were mad would I know it? I've become increasingly unfamiliar with my surroundings. Life is surreal in the sense that it is unbelievable, dream-like, to sound cliche. I am sure I will be murdered. So sure that I arm myself. I have developed what most MDs would consider to be serious OCD to ensure that I am aware of even the slightest change to my surroundings.
I have had no trauma in my life. No one close to me has died. I'm upper middle class, well educated and healthy. I have friends, family and success, so, there is no psychological explanation for this.
There is something wrong with me. Some being has attached itself to me. I don't know it's intentions but they seem ominous, because why would this being follow me in the dark- where I'm vulnerable and wary of it? Why does it cause increasing anxiety in me and grow in stature in precisely week long intervals? What is happening? I'm sober. I drink less than a normal 21 year old college student and I never do drugs. Why has this thing started to develop a face?
Please explain this to me before it gains a true identity.
Sincerely, frightened stranger
THE ANSWER TO THIS QUESTION WILL NOT BE DISPLAYED UNTIL YOU HAVE INDICATED YOUR AGREEMENT WITH THE DISCLAIMER PRINTED JUST BELOW. CLICK THE 'I AGREE' BUTTON TO AGREE TO THESE TERMS AND SEE THE RESPONSE.
- Dr. Schwartz responds to questions about psychotherapy and mental health problems, from the perspective of his training in clinical psychology.
- Dr. Schwartz intends his responses to provide general educational information to the readership of this website; answers should not be understood to be specific advice intended for any particular individual(s).
- Questions submitted to this column are not guaranteed to receive responses.
- No correspondence takes place.
- No ongoing relationship of any sort (including but not limited to any form of professional relationship) is implied or offered by Dr. Schwartz to people submitting questions.
- Dr. Schwartz, Mental Help Net and CenterSite, LLC make no warranties, express or implied, about the information presented in this column. Dr. Schwartz and Mental Help Net disclaim any and all merchantability or warranty of fitness for a particular purpose or liability in connection with the use or misuse of this service.
- Always consult with your psychotherapist, physician, or psychiatrist first before changing any aspect of your treatment regimen. Do not stop your medication or change the dose of your medication without first consulting with your physician.