Email a link to this page to: Type the code into the box:

Resources Basic Information The Nature of Suicide The Nature of SuicideDefining SuicideSuicide: A Reactive ActionSuicide StatisticsOther Factors Contributing to Suicide RiskSuicide TriggersSuicide Triggers ContinuedTying it All Together: Why Does Someone Become Suicidal?Becoming Suicidal: Biological ContributionsBecoming Suicidal: Sociocultural ContributionsSuicide Prevention and Societal MeasuresWebsites Coping with Suicidality Coping with SuicidalityHow did you get to this suicidal place?Why does suicide seem like a solution to your problem(s)?How do you know your level of suicide risk?Suicide Warning SignsSuicide: What Should I Do if I'm Suicidal?Suicide: What will happen to you when you ask for help?Outpatient Suicide Treatment-Finding A PsychotherapistThe Initial Suicide Treatment InterviewJeremy's StoryFollow-up Suicide Therapy VisitsSuicide: Other Things You Can Do to Help Keep Yourself SafeSuicide and Self Harm Resources Helping A Friend or Family Member who is Suicidal Helping a Friend or Family Member Who is SuicidalUnderstanding Suicidal CrisesWhy Do People Become Suicidal and What Can I do to Help?How Can I Judge the Level of Suicide Risk?What Are Other Suicide Warning Signs?What Happens When a Suicidal Person Asks for Help?How Do We Find a Therapist for Suicide Outpatient Treatment?What Else Can I Do to Help a Suicidal Family Member or Friend?How Do I Handle My Own Reactions Following a Suicide or a Suicide Attempt? More Information Wise Counsel Interview Transcript: An Interview with Thomas Joiner, Ph.D. on Why People Commit Suicide Latest News Pot Use Ups Odds for Suicide in Young People With Bipolar DisorderFewer U.S. Cancer Patients Are Dying From Suicide, Study FindsADHD Raises Adult Suicide Risk, Especially for WomenCounseling on Gun Safety Could Cut Suicide Rate in Military: StudyPandemic Tied to Higher Suicide Rate in Blacks, Lowered Rate in Whites: StudyMore Childbearing Women Having Suicidal Thoughts: StudyDisasters Leave a Rise in Suicides in Their Wake: StudyBuying Gun During Pandemic Might Raise Suicide RiskCould Propecia Up Young Men's Suicide Risk?Money Worries Raise Suicide Risk in People With ADHD: StudyDuring Stress of Pandemic, Know Suicide's Warning SignsHow You Can Help Prevent Suicide During the COVID-19 PandemicSuicide Rate Keeps Rising Among Young AmericansAs Jobless Rates Climb, Study Finds Financial Stress Greatly Ups Suicide RiskWith Tighter Handgun Laws, U.S. Would See Fewer Suicides by Young PeopleSuicide Rate 170 Times Higher for People With SchizophreniaFewer Suicide-Related ER Visits in COVID Era, and That Has Experts WorriedWhen a Handgun Is in the Home, Suicide Risk Quickly RisesAs Coronavirus Pandemic Hits U.S., Experts Worry About Rise in SuicidesU.S. Suicide Rate Climbed 35% in Two DecadesCelebrity Suicides Spawn 'Copycat' Tragedies, Study ShowsSuicidal Thoughts Among Young Kids Higher Than BelievedAHA News: People With Implanted Heart Pumps May Have Higher Suicide RiskShotguns Often Play Tragic Role in Rural Teens' Suicides: Study'Tough Guys' May Be at Especially High Risk for SuicideFewer LGBT Teens Plagued by Suicidal Thoughts, But Rates Still HighNumber of Americans Headed to ER for Suicidal Thoughts, Self-Harm Keeps RisingTeen Boys Who Attempt Suicide More Likely to Abuse as AdultsNew National Suicide Statistics at a Glance Questions and Answers How Can I Convince My Suicidal MD Husband To Be Evaluated?No Clue What To Do. Help?In A Bad SituationWhen Psychotherapy Does Not HelpDepression TreatmentTherapist rights to contact EmployerDoes a therapist have to report me as suicidal if I tell her I self injure? OCD Will I Ever? Self-Injury / Self-Harm: How do I stop cutting myself?Psych major wants to get her life back after being raped and attempting suicideA Friend in NeedMild Personality Disorderhard decisionMy husband won't take his medicineWhat is the point of life?Regular thoughts of killing myselfI'm a cutter and can't remember anythingDoes thinking of suicide lead to suicide?I Sometimes CutWhen To Ask For Suicide HelpInability To Express MyselfSuicidalSuicidal FriendSuicidal TeenSelf-Harming Attention SeekerHer Only FriendIs This Depression?Hate Ex-BoyfriendPotentially Suicidal BoyfriendTalking DiceSelf-injurerSuicide Threat Relationships (a long one)Therapy for CuttersDeep Feelings of SuicideSelf-Injuring SisterSelf-InjuryThe Aftermath of SuicidePoly-addiction?CuttingSeverely DepressedThreatened by Suicide if I Leave Videos Developing the Family Intervention for Suicide Prevention (FISP)Addressing the Rise of Teen SuicideFeeling down? Let's talk - Prevention of suicide among adolescents NPW 2017: Suicide and Substance Use in Young People Addressing SuicideSuicide Warning SignsHow to Ask if Someone is SuicidalADHD and Suicide Risk FactorsSuicide Tops Injury Deaths Assessment and Intervention with Suicidal Clients: Volume 2Assessment and Intervention with Suicidal Clients: Volume 1Assessment and Intervention with Suicidal Clients: Volume 3Preventing suicide: a global imperative Youth Suicide RiskPreventing Death by Suicide-Strategies to Help Children, Youth and Families The bridge between suicide and life Beyond the Data -- Preventing Suicide: A Comprehensive Public Health Approach Preventing Suicide: A Comprehensive Public Health ApproachFor Those Considering SuicideHow to Help Someone Who is Suicidal Teen Suicide PreventionReach Out - Preventing Teen Suicide Suicide Prevention with Lynn KeaneAddressing Suicidal Thoughts and Behaviors in Substance Abuse Treatment Suicide Signs Links [2] Associations[3] Community[1] Government[15] Information[1] CEUs[2] Training[1] Self-Help[25] Videos[1] Blogs[5] Apps Book Reviews A Sadly Troubled HistoryAliveAutopsy of a Suicidal MindBloodlettingBoy InterruptedComprehending SuicideCrossesDuplicityEight Stories UpFatal AttachmentsHeavier than HeavenHer HusbandHistory of SuicideHow I Stayed Alive When My Brain Was Trying to Kill MeHuman Dignity and Assisted DeathLeaving YouLife InterruptedLike the Red PandaMaking Sense of SuicideMyths about SuicideNight Falls FastNo Right TurnOne in ThirteenRelational Suicide AssessmentSilent GriefSuicidalSuicidal Behavior in Children and AdolescentsSuicideSylviaSylvia PlathSylvia Plath ReadsThe Art of MisdiagnosisThe Clinical Science of Suicide PreventionThe Final LeapThirteen Reasons WhyUnholy Ghost

Related Topics Abuse Bipolar Disorder Depression: Depression & Related Conditions Grief & Bereavement Issues Death & Dying

	Ask Dr. Schwartz: Psychotherapy and Mental Health questions
Archive · Read the Disclaimer · Biographical Statement · RSS Feed

My husband is an MD who is finishing his residency and starting a new fellowship in a couple weeks. We have been married for almost seven years, and he has gradually exhibited more extreme inappropriate reactions to minor irritations and perceived slights. Things are either "right" or "wrong" and "people who do stupid things deserve to be berated so they learn their lesson and don't do it again." If I sleep in on the weekend, it's because I don't want to spend time with him However, when we do spend time together, he doesn't want to talk or do anything in particular. On the other hand, he can be sweet, thoughtful, and has always held providing for us and loyalty to friends as very important.

Last Friday we went to his graduation where several things severely irritated him. When we came home, he sat outside in the rain for a half hour, then came inside and was trying to hang an electrical extension cord over the eyebeam in the basement to hang himself when I caught him. He told me to close the basement door, turn up the TV and pretend nothing was happening. I of course refused and eventually ended up putting him to bed. During the course of the night, he said he had made a rational decision that his life would never be worthwhile, human life and society as a whole is meaningless, and I should respect his decision. He said if he has a right to life, he also has a right to death, and my stopping him was proving I did not care about him. He said he'd been thinking about suicide since he was eight, and that if I stopped him now, he would just bide his time until later. He then went on to describe all the times when he's alone when I wouldn't be able to intervene. He has said if I contact anyone or have him committed, he will file divorce papers the day he is released from the mandatory holding period and I will never see him again. He said he can easily fool people into thinking everything is fine, and I doubt he would be held longer than the mandated maximum of a few days.

I want to bring up the topic of evaluation and therapy again, when he's not in the middle of a crisis, but I don't know the best way to begin. He is resistant,  he says as a doctor himself, he is trained in all illness, and no one else could tell him anything he doesn't already know. He has also balked at the idea of medications because he doesn't want the mental side effects they can produce.

I love my husband and can tell he is in such pain. I want to help him with all my heart and don't know how.

THE ANSWER TO THIS QUESTION WILL NOT BE DISPLAYED UNTIL YOU HAVE INDICATED YOUR AGREEMENT WITH THE DISCLAIMER PRINTED JUST BELOW. CLICK THE 'I AGREE' BUTTON TO AGREE TO THESE TERMS AND SEE THE RESPONSE.

Disclaimer

• Dr. Schwartz responds to questions about psychotherapy and mental health problems, from the perspective of his training in clinical psychology.
• Dr. Schwartz intends his responses to provide general educational information to the readership of this website; answers should not be understood to be specific advice intended for any particular individual(s).
• Questions submitted to this column are not guaranteed to receive responses.
• No correspondence takes place.
• No ongoing relationship of any sort (including but not limited to any form of professional relationship) is implied or offered by Dr. Schwartz to people submitting questions.
• Dr. Schwartz, Mental Help Net and CenterSite, LLC make no warranties, express or implied, about the information presented in this column. Dr. Schwartz and Mental Help Net disclaim any and all merchantability or warranty of fitness for a particular purpose or liability in connection with the use or misuse of this service.
• Always consult with your psychotherapist, physician, or psychiatrist first before changing any aspect of your treatment regimen. Do not stop your medication or change the dose of your medication without first consulting with your physician.