| |
Basic InformationMore InformationLatest NewsPfizer, Moderna to Expand Vaccine Studies in Young ChildrenCan COVID Transmit Easily on Crowded School Buses?Kids Still Dying From Accidental Exposure to Fentanyl Pain PatchesWhen Are Head Injury Risks Highest for Young Soccer Players?Simple Step Gets More School Kids Eating Their VeggiesSurvey Finds U.S. Parents Split on COVID Vaccination for Kids Under 12Most Parents Clueless About Overuse Dangers to Young PitchersEven Young Children Can Have Breathing Issues During Sleep1.5 Million Kids Worldwide Lost Parent or Other Caregiver to COVID-19Severe COVID in Kids: Rare, but Brain Issues Can ResultPrescriptions for U.S. Kids Declined During PandemicHow Your Kid's Education Could Make You HealthierPediatricians' Group: All School Kids, Staff Should Continue to Wear MasksAny COVID Infection Leaves Strong Antibody Levels in KidsMake Summer Camp Safe for Your Child With Asthma, AllergiesDrowning Deaths for U.S. Kids Have Fallen 38% Since 1999Heart Troubles Ease Over Time in Kids With MIS-CHalf of U.S. Teens Plan to Get COVID Shot, But Can Numbers Go Higher?Parent's Words Key to Young Kids' Fears Around VaccinationSummer Drowning Deaths Can Happen Quickly: Know the FactsWhy Handwriting Still Beats Typing, Videos at Helping Folks LearnVaccinated Teachers, Students Can Skip Masks This Fall: CDCIs Your Kid a Fast or Slow Eater? Personality Might TellLockdown Weight Gain May Have Caused Surge in New Diabetes Cases in KidsWhy Do So Many Kids Never Get Swimming Lessons?Screen All Kids for Heart Problems, Pediatricians' Group SaysFast-Food Companies Spending More on Ads Aimed at YouthTreating Teachers' Depression Could Boost Young Students' Grades: StudyDirty Air in Pregnancy Might Raise Baby's Obesity RiskChild Drownings in U.S. Pools, Spas Are on the RiseAHA News: As the Pandemic Wanes, Get Kids on the Road to Good Health This SummerAllergy Treatment Crucial If Your Child Has AsthmaScientists Discover Rare Form of ALS That Can Strike KidsDebunking Myths That Have Some Parents Resisting COVID Vaccines for TeensBedtime With a Pet Won't Harm Your Kid's Sleep - and Might HelpMost Cases of MIS-C in Kids With COVID Resolve After 6 MonthsFetal Exposure to Ultra-Fine Air Pollution Could Raise Asthma RisksAHA News: Kids With Sleep Apnea Into Teen Years Could Develop High Blood PressureIs Your Child at Risk for Asthma?Number of U.S. Kids Hospitalized With COVID Is Likely Overcounted: StudyClues to Rare Disorder Affecting Kids With COVID-19Pandemic Caused Rise in Telemedicine Visits for Kids, But Will the Trend Continue?What Works Best to Ease Recurrent Ear Infections in Kids?Rural U.S. Schools Are Bringing Back In-Person Learning Faster Than Urban SchoolsHow Summer Camps Can Shield Your Kids from Allergies, Asthma & COVIDCould Your Child Have a Heart Defect? Know the Warning SignsPoll Finds Many Parents Hesitant to Get Younger Kids VaccinatedAHA News: Prenatal Stress Can Program a Child's Brain for Later Health IssuesFDA Plans to OK Pfizer Vaccine for Those Aged 12 and Up5 Steps to Protect Young Athletes' Eyes Questions and AnswersVideosLinksBook Reviews100 Things Guys Need to Know3 NBS of Julian DrewA Guide to Asperger SyndromeA Tribe ApartA User Guide to the GF/CF Diet for Autism, Asperger Syndrome and AD/HDA Walk in the Rain With a BrainAdolescence and Body ImageAdolescent DepressionAfterAggression and Antisocial Behavior in Children and AdolescentsAll Alone in the UniverseAmelia RulesAmericaAnother PlanetAntisocial Behavior in Children and AdolescentsArtemis FowlAssessment and Treatment of Childhood Problems, Second EditionAutistic Spectrum DisordersBad GirlBetween Two WorldsBeyond AppearanceBeyond Diversity DayBig Mouth & Ugly GirlBill HensonBipolar DisordersBody Image, Eating Disorders, and ObesityBody Image, Eating Disorders, and Obesity in YouthBoyBoysBrandedBreaking PointBreathing UnderwaterBringing Up ParentsBullying and TeasingCan't Eat, Won't EatCatalystChild and Adolescent Psychological DisordersChildren Changed by TraumaChildren with Emerald EyesChildren’s Dreaming and the Development of Consciousness City of OneConcise Guide to Child and Adolescent PsychiatryConquering the Beast WithinContentious IssuesCrackedCutDancing in My NuddypantsDemystifying the Autistic ExperienceDescartes' BabyDilemmas of DesireDirtyDoing ItDoing SchoolDying to Be ThinEating an ArtichokeEducating Children With AutismElijah's CupEllison the ElephantEmerald City BluesEmotional and Behavioral Problems of Young ChildrenEvery Girl Tells a StoryFast GirlsFeather BoyFiregirlForever YoungFreaks, Geeks and Asperger SyndromeFreewillGeography ClubGeorgia Under WaterGirl in the MirrorGirlfightingGirlsourceGirlWiseGLBTQGood GirlsGoodbye RuneGranny Torrelli Makes SoupGrowing Up GirlHandbook for BoysHealing ADDHeartbeatHelping Children Cope With Disasters and TerrorismHelping Parents, Youth, and Teachers Understand Medications for Behavioral and Emotional ProblemsHollow KidsHow Children Learn the Meanings of WordsHow to Keep Your Teenager Out of Trouble and What to Do If You Can'tHug MeIntrusive ParentingIt's Me!It's Perfectly NormalJake RileyJoey Pigza Swallowed the KeyJuvenile-Onset SchizophreniaKeeping the MoonKilling MonstersKim: Empty InsideKnocked Out by My Nunga-NungasLaura Numeroff's 10-Step Guide to Living with Your MonsterLearning About School ViolenceLeo the Lightning BugLet Kids Be KidsLiberation's ChildrenLife As We Know ItLisa, Bright and DarkLittle ChicagoLord of the FliesLoserLove and SexLove That DogManicMastering Anger and AggressionMind FieldsMiss American PieMom, Dad, I'm Gay.MonsterMore Than a LabelMyths of ChildhoodNew Hope for Children and Teens with Bipolar DisorderNo Two AlikeNot Much Just Chillin'Odd Girl OutOdd Girl Speaks OutOn the Frontier of AdulthoodOne Hot SecondOne in ThirteenOphelia SpeaksOphelia's MomOur Journey Through High Functioning Autism and Asperger SyndromeOut of the DustOvercoming School AnxietyParenting and the Child's WorldParenting Your Out-Of-Control TeenagerPediatric PsychopharmacologyPeriod PiecesPhobic and Anxiety Disorders in Children and AdolescentsPINSPraising Boys WellPraising Girls WellPretty in PunkPrincess in the SpotlightProblem Child or Quirky Kid?Psychotherapy As PraxisPsychotherapy for Children and AdolescentsRaising a Self-StarterRaising BlazeRaising Resilient ChildrenReclaiming Our ChildrenRedressing the EmperorReducing Adolescent RiskRethinking ADHDReweaving the Autistic TapestryRineke DijkstraRitalin is Not the Answer Action GuideRunning on RitalinSay YesSexual Teens, Sexual MediaSexuality in AdolescenceShooterShort PeopleShould I Medicate My Child?Skin GameSmackSmashedStaying Connected to Your TeenagerStick FigureStoner & SpazStop Arguing with Your KidsStraight Talk about Your Child's Mental HealthStrong, Smart, & BoldStudent DepressionSurvival Strategies for Parenting Children with Bipolar DisorderSurviving OpheliaTaking Charge of ADHD, Revised EditionTaming the Troublesome ChildTargeting AutismTeaching Problems and the Problems of TeachingTeen Angst? NaaahThat SummerThe American Psychiatric Publishing Textbook Of Child And Adolescent PsychiatryThe Arctic IncidentThe Bipolar ChildThe Buffalo TreeThe Bully, the Bullied, and the BystanderThe Carnivorous CarnivalThe Depressed ChildThe Developing MindThe Dragons of AutismThe Dream BearerThe Dulcimer Boy The Einstein SyndromeThe EpidemicThe Eternity CubeThe Explosive ChildThe Field of the DogsThe First IdeaThe Identity TrapThe Inside Story on Teen GirlsThe Little TernThe Mean Girl MotiveThe Men They Will BecomeThe Myth of LazinessThe New Gay TeenagerThe Notebook GirlsThe Nurture AssumptionThe Opposite of InvisibleThe Order of the Poison OakThe Other ParentThe Present Moment in Psychotherapy and Everyday LifeThe Real Truth About Teens and SexThe Rise and Fall of the American TeenagerThe Secret Lives of GirlsThe Sex Lives of TeenagersThe Shared HeartThe Spider and the BeeThe StepsThe Thought that CountsThe Unhappy ChildThe Vile VillageThe Whole ChildThen Again, Maybe I Won'tTherapy with ChildrenThings I Have to Tell YouTouching Spirit BearTrauma in the Lives of ChildrenTreacherous LoveTrue BelieverTwistedUnhappy TeenagersWay to Be!We're Not MonstersWhat about the KidsWhat Would Joey Do?What's Happening to My Body? Book for BoysWhat's Happening to My Body? Book for GirlsWhen Nothing Matters AnymoreWhen Sex Goes to SchoolWhen Your Child Has an Eating DisorderWhere The Kissing Never StopsWhose America?Why Are You So Sad?WinnicottWorried All the TimeYes, Your Teen Is Crazy!You Hear MeYoung People and Mental HealthYour Child, Bully or Victim? |
| |
by Nancy L. Snyderman, M.D. and Peg Streep Hyperion, 2002 Review by Marion Torchia on Jun 6th 2003 
Girl
in the Mirror is addressed to mothers about to embark on the challenge of
raising adolescent daughters. It is
not, strictly speaking, a professional book.
Although one of the authors is a physician -- actually, a surgeon
specializing in otolaryngology -- she does not draw on her own professional
experience. Instead, she and her
colleague combine summaries of current literature on adolescent development
with reflections on their experiences, and those of friends and colleagues, as
daughters and as mothers. The result is
an optimistic, "you can do it" guide to "hands-on"
mothering.
The book maintains a very valuable dual focus. Middle class mothers are typically going
through their own mid-life "changes" just as their daughters go
through adolescence. As their daughters
step into the prime of life, they face all the losses that go with age. Inevitably, tensions arise that must be
faced honestly. Any mother will react
to her daughter's emerging sexuality, and to her striking out for autonomy, at
least partly in terms of what these events say to her about her own past life
and future prospects.
On the other hand, the mother, as
the adult in the relationship, must be the responsible party, keeping her
emotional reactions in perspective in order to work for her daughter's
well-being. Self-reflection is in
order.
The authors try to debunk or
re-frame what they see as distorted cultural myths. A "Good Mother," in their view, does not need to be a
cross between Mother Teresa and Martha Stewart; she is doing well if she enters
into an honest, flexible relationship with her daughter. Not all adolescents are prickly, rebellious,
or in turmoil, victimized by "raging hormones"--though it is
certainly true that adolescence is a time of radical change and a degree of
struggle. Peer influence is not uniformly
dangerous; mothers need to appreciate the value of their daughters'
friendships.
The book takes positions in
opposition to several prevalent trends: an "age compression" that
forces children into adolescence earlier and earlier; an increased sexualization
of popular culture, and a feminine ideal that emphasizes bodily beauty at the
expense of other personal values. It
takes a stand straightforwardly in favor of close parental supervision and the
setting of limits. "Hands-on"
parenting includes knowing an adolescent's whereabouts; monitoring TV watching,
Internet use, and musical tastes; and establishing family rituals such as
mealtimes.
On the other hand, the authors'
attitude is not entirely authoritarian.
They see the chief task of motherhood as engaging with one's daughter in
an extended dialogue, a real two-way exchange.
In this conversation, the mother's values and behavior will be open to
observation and criticism. However,
both parties will respect certain boundaries of privacy.
The book touches on an enormous
range of difficult topics, including divorce, step-parenting, adoption, sex
education and sexual orientation, and drug and alcohol use. Its extensive bibliography makes it a useful
starting point for an investigation of these issues.
The chapter on "Troubled
Waters" summarizes the standard scientific and public health literature on
such serious emotional problems as depression, anxiety disorder, social phobia,
obsessive-compulsive disorder, and eating disorders. It offers concrete advice, hope in the efficacy of treatment, and
compassion for the mother's suffering.
Girl
in the Mirror is an appealing book.
Its authors are strong in their opinions but not nasty, blaming, or
backward looking. They have succeeded
in conveying a unified vision of the crucial task of mothering an adolescent
daughter in today's world.
©
2003 Marion Torchia
Marion Torchia is a Washington DC-based writer and health care analyst.
She is particularly interested in the moral dimensions of our attitudes towards
health and behavioral health. |
